AJGA success and failure

Sean played superbly in the first round of an AJGA event, shooting a -3 69, right up there with the leaders. His second round one over 73 was not as good, but it kept him close to the leaders in a tie for 5th place, only a few strokes behind.

Well, the final round didn't go as well as we had hoped. Sean kinda shot himself out of the tournament with a final round 79.

He just never got anything going. He played even par through 6, but then pulled his tee shot into a hazard on 7, and began to leak oil. He didn't give himself many looks at birdie, and when he did, he didn't get the putts to drop.

Now he's learning how to deal with the bitter pill of dropping back so far.

He had some serious milestones here. First tournament round below par, first tournament round in the 60's, best 36 hole score of his 'career' (142), best finish in an multi-round AJGA event (T18 out of 60). Best score to par in a multiround tournament (+5). None of this is shabby and all of it testifies to some really significant improvement in his game.

I mean, just a few months ago he couldn't finish in the top half of an AJGA event, whereas this week he spent the better part of 3 days on the top of the leaderboard.

But the bottom line is it is not where he wants to be. It is also not where he thought he was headed, both coming into the event this week and, in particular, after the first two rounds. His sense is that he had something in his grasp and let it slip away. And to finish with a last round score of 7 over is, well, embarrassing before his peers.

He hung around the 18th green as the final group, right behind him, finished their rounds. He saw the winner's over-joyed reaction. He saw Steve Marino come up to the kid with a big smile and about knock him over with a massive congratulatory bro hug. Sean wanted all of that for himself. What kid wouldn't?

I think for him, the blow to a self-image he is trying to build is probably the hardest to take. He'll have to learn how to live with this "stain" and face his golfing buddies knowing that they darn well know these scores, too.

But this is water off a duck's back. He was pretty much over it by the time we got on the flight back to home. He'll build on this, not collapse from the weight.

Me? First, I'm a very lucky parent because the toughest thing I seem to have to face is seeing my son work so hard at playing a game, and yet come away so disappointed. This isn't tragedy or calamity. This isn't life or death. This is not a child with a heartbreaking illness or inborn condition. Not by a mile.

It is only a game.

Another part of me REALLY likes how distasteful he finds this outcome. Because I know he'll build on it. He's one of those kids for whom this serves as motivation to work harder so that the next time he does better. That is just the kind of kid he is. His overall trajectory is decidedly in the right direction. And I couldn't be more happy that he is getting these glimpses at success.

This week has been a stepping stone. We had major flight delays and got back home very late last night. But I expect that he'll be out at the club grinding before noon.

Sleeping close to a lead

Sean had a great start today in an AJGA tournament. He carded a 3-under par 69 to finish tied for 2nd place, only one stroke back.

Two more rounds and a lot of golf remain to be played.

And lessons to be learned.

I think tonight's lesson will be on how to so close to the lead in an event. He's been there once before in a smaller tournament, and it didn't go so well.

One thing that is different this time is that Sean isn't denying he is nervous. He now understands he will be playing nervous tomorrow. So the question is, how do you play nervous? How do you deal with it.

He made three calls as soon as he got into the car. One was to Bobby, with whom he had a lesson just before heading out of town. He wanted Bobby to know that things are working well. Indeed. I think Bobby just gave him a congrats.

The 2nd call was to his mom. Who no doubt is very excited and happy for him.

The third call was to his mentor at the club, Michael. After Sean told him where he was and what he had accomplished, Michael knew exactly what to say. He told Sean to accept the fact that he'll be nervous, and to focus on his targets and on his tempo.

I guess the idea is that if you need to focus on something other than your nerves, you might as well focus on something important and useful! Duh.

Today's round included a couple of milestones. Sean's first tournament round under par, and his first tournament round in the 60's.

We've seen this day coming for a while and so it really doesn't come as much of a surprise. He's been scoring really well leading up to today's round, even when not really playing well.

And after arriving at the course, he found he really liked it. The course sets up to his eye, and he recognized that some good scoring could be had if he just kept the ball in front of him.

Taken together, he's playing with a lot of confidence. He expects to get his pars and to score some birdies. Today, it was three birdies and an eagle.

When you are playing like that, things can be very, very easy.

We're happy for him because he has worked so hard to get to this point and has dealt with his share of disappointments and setbacks.

Validation

Sean called me at work from the home course today with the news he'd broken 70 again. Another 69! Five birdies offset by two bogies.

It had been only 10 days since he first passed that all important milestone. To do it again, and so soon, is impressive validation.

By coincidence, I left the house for work this morning mentioning to his mom something along the lines that I was sure he'd shoot in the 60's a couple of more times before the summer ends.

Still, I was also beginning to wonder if his feat from just a few days ago had already begun to weigh on him. I suspected that in some corner of his mind, he might have wondered if he could do it again? That the first one might have been a fluke.

Of course, he'd deny that. Sean isn't one to confess weaknesses of the mind.

But if he had doubts at all, today he surely put them to rest.

It was bound to happen. I've always felt that all Sean needed was time, and that he'd eventually catch up to the better golfers of his age group.

Hard to know if it is a coincidence, but one of the things we've done differently this summer than in the past is to create an atmosphere of expectations.

In the past, I didn't really want to put any pressure on him to perform better, mostly because I honestly didn't know what to expect. Also, he seemed to put plenty of pressure on himself all alone. And also because what a 13 and 14 year old golfer accomplishes is fundamentally irrelevant in the grander scheme of things.

This year is a little different because I've seen enough with my own eyes to decide that Bobby, his instructor, is right. The sky is the limit with Sean's talent.

And so this year we've laid onto his shoulders the expectation that he start validating that talent. Nothing huge. No histrionics. No Tiger-Dad tactics. I don't have a formal missed meals for missed putts program (though I reserve the right to implement one if I deem it necessary).

Just pointing out to him the obvious, that if he wants to compete in national-level tournaments, he's going to have to earn his way out there with his scoring. That I really don't care how well or how bad he is hitting the ball, just as long as he figures out a way to post a score good. Whether at home or in tournaments. Only the scoring matters.

We let him know that if he wants to think of himself as one of the best junior golfers in a southern, junior golfer crazy state, that alone must rise to the challenge and post scores that are on par with those players.

We acknowledged that he spent plenty of time on his game, but also let him know that we expect him to be more disciplined in his preparation, that he'd be better off spending 10 hrs a day on the couch then 10 hrs a day practicing poorly.

It seems that in raising the bar in this way, we very well may have given him the permission he craved to play better.

We've nudged him, we've let him know we are there for him, we've given him what he needs. And we've given him the space to figure the rest out on his own.

AJGA Qualifier Crack

As we drove the long highway back to home after Sean competed in another AJGA qualifier event, I found myself unable to suppress the thought that there is an addictive quality to these events.

At its simplest, the top 10% of finishers in AJGA qualifier events earn a tournament exemption, whereas the next up to the top 50% of the field earn a "performance star".

These tournament exemptions and performance stars are like cash, to be spent to gain entry into full AJGA events.

They are the currency of the AJGA's Performance Based Entry system. The more tournament exemptions and stars a player holds in his or her account, the better his chances of gaining entry into an event.

Exemptions and stars awarded to the better players in these qualifier events earn them opportunities to play in more AJGA events, where they have chances to earn more tournament exemptions and stars.

So, why are we playing qualifiers? Sean has had near fully exempt AJGA status this year, and has already played 2 of 4 planned full events. But that status is lost for next year.

The game plan was for him to earn tournament exemptions and stars from his efforts therein, which he could bank for next year. But he hasn't earned anything but experience in those first two full events.

So we decided to go ahead and enter him in some qualifier events as something of a back up plan. If there was a strategy involved, it was to enter him in a qualifier for every full event he didn't earn a prize in. But now I feel as if I should put him in as many qualifiers as possible.

He has played in two qualifiers so far, and has come away with bling from each: a tournament exemption from his first, and a performance star for his effort this past weekend. Which should be enough to get him into one AJGA event next year. Which is fine and dandy.

But it not enough. Because he'll lose the tournament exemption he currently owns once he uses it next year.

In the final analysis, you have to look at your child this year and project where he can be next year. And I have Sean projected to be even a better golfer. If you look at his game right now, he is a middle of the pack AJGA player.

But it is obvious he is improving quickly. Next year, he could very well prove to be an excellent AJGA player. And so you want to put him in a position to take advantage of that better skill level.

And so this year is the time to lay the ground work for the next.

It dawned on me on the drive home that the summer comes and goes pretty quickly. There aren't a great many qualifier opportunities to take advantage of before the deadlines pass for entry into the late season full events. To enter a season without much in the way of AJGA status while hoping to play some AJGA events invites a game of tail chasing.

So just this morning, I decided to enter him into another qualifier.

We'll be taking a long trip to Texas for him to play in a full event. I figure that by playing in the qualifier that is scheduled to precede the event, which will cost only one extra night stay, he'll get two bites at the exemption/star apple during one big trip.

It will cost Sean the wear and tear that comes from playing 5 straight tournament rounds, something that he and I talked about before making the decision.

But other than that, strategically, it is the right thing to do. And Sean seems up for it.

Big match victory

Our club has two open tournaments that are designed to test the best golfers at the club. Any member or junior can enter, irrespective of their status. These are the Club Championship, which is a 3 round stroke play event to be played in October, and the Match Play Championship, which just began.

Sean shot an 82 in an 18 hole play in event to qualify for the Match Play Championship (I shot worse and failed to qualify...ugh. The one day he plays bad enough that I could beat him, I end up playing worse).

This gave him a fairly low seed in the 16 player field, and sure enough he was slated to play Rich, an adult member and one of the top 4 best players at the club, year in and out.

Rich and Sean played their match yesterday, and Sean emerged on top with a 2&1 victory.

Apparently, Sean was up by as many as 3 holes, before Rich narrowed it to one after the par 5 hole 14. They both birdied 15 and then Sean dropped a bomb for birdie on 16 to go 2 up. On the 225 yd par 3 17th, Sean missed the green but emerged with a victory after getting up and down for par.

Sean says he shot a 72 on his ball, to Rich's 74.

But a tight match like that against a really solid opponent is big test of fortitude and a great confidence booster for Sean.

Sounds like he is playing well, which is good, because he has an AJGA qualifier tomorrow. You'd like to see them playing well going into these sort of do-or-die events.

Breaking 70!!

Sean set a new milestone today, breaking 70 for the first time today during a round at the club. A round of 3 under par, 69. He had 2 birdies and an eagle on the front side (32) to go with only one bogey on the back side (37).

Next goal: A bogey-free round, then it is off to the races to break 60!!

I had a little fun with this one. I walked through the clubhouse on my way out after my own round (I shot an 80), when Tom in the proshop asked if I had heard Sean had shot a 69. I had not.

I could see Sean was down at the driving range, grinding away. I approached Sean there saying, "Guess what? I shot a 68 today!!"

Since he looked like I had just punched him in the gut, I took it back right away. And congratulated him on his own score.

What a wonderful boost. He is brimming with confidence right now.