He called a penalty on himself

I did want to mention one more thing. In a tournament this past weekend, Sean had a ball move on him after addressing it for a green side chip, and replaced it with a one stroke penalty. I wasn't out there watching him, and from the sounds of it neither of the players in his group saw it either.

I had told him some time earlier that the first time I hear he did something like that would be a proud day, indeed. That no shot was more important than preserving his integrity and that of the competition.

What was remarkable is how little fanfare was involved. He mentioned it as if in passing, and I congratulated him, but really didn't make a big deal out of it either.

Still, it was early in the 2nd round, which he started only 3 shots off the lead. For all he knew at the time, it might have cost him a win. As it turned out, he finished 3rd, 6 strokes off the lead.

The big picture and the long view

I've been remiss. A lot of water has passed under the bridge since my last post. Sean's US Jr Am qualifying experience turned out to be the start of a rough patch of water, and I guess it took a bit of wind out of my sails.

Going through it, there didn't seem much to celebrate just as there didn't seem much to grow despondent about.

In fact, seven tournaments worth of water has passed with seven rounds 80 and above, seven rounds in the seventies, but no round better than a 76. You could say that Sean's game hit a plateau while I pretty much just got into the grind of getting him to all of his events.

But I'm back after taking some time to graph things out to get some perspective.
The big picture is that after 13 tournaments this season, Sean's scoring and his game has improved measurably. His tournament scoring average this season is 7.4 strokes improved over last season, and is now pretty much going to stay in the 70's, a Mendoza line of sorts.

There are all sorts of other measures of success. He finished higher in his fields this season compared to the year before. Where last year he was pretty much bringing up the rear, this year he is somewhere in the top third to top half of players in his age group. He has 8 top 10 finishes on the season. Last year he had one score in the 70's, this season scored below 80 in 13 rounds! Last year, a 157 for two rounds was his best effort and had only one other tournament below 170. This year he had 8 tournaments in the 150's, with a 150 marking his best effort. He had a propensity all season to shoot a better 2nd round than his first round, by a margin of 3 strokes on average. His ranking in the Junior Golf Scoreboard has improved from somewhere in the 5000's to somewhere around 2800.

Overall, there is no question that Sean is on the right trajectory.

But to be honest, things fell short of our expectations...of my hopes for him and his plans for himself. We talked about it over last winter and set a goal of a scoring average of 75 and maybe taking home some bling.

But was this even a reasonable expectation? How do you know what is reasonable? I guess we came up with that 75 on the basis of how well he was hitting the ball, how much he was taking to his coaches instruction, and how committed he seemed to improve this year. He just looked like a really solid golfer.

The data indicate that 75 was a stretch, scoring that well in tournaments over a whole season involves being more than a great ball-striker. It looks as if Sean will have to continue to struggle to join the best golfers among his peers. But he is getting closer to them then they are pulling away from him.

As much as I want him to win and be a top golfer as a 13, 14 and 15 year old, I'm convinced Sean wants it a lot more. What most impresses me about Sean is how he bounced back time after time from a disappointing round or tournament, to get out there and do it again. There is absolutely no quit in the kid. And he has incredible focus. I don't mind all the travel and expense for one reason only: I am absolutely convinced that Sean is giving it all his very best effort, an effort that more than earns the privilege of playing the junior tours.

And over this season I've come to accept the long view that this struggle to improve is a very good thing. To get that scoring average down among the best won't come easy to him. He has all the athletic ability in the world. Although I have my pet theories, it is not at all clear to me what more he needs to do, other than knowing that HE needs to figure it out for himself.

As a parent, I can only be grateful for a son possessing the ambition to become an outstanding golfer. More than anything, what the season has taught me is patience, that he will have to learn how to do this on his own. I can hope he gets his game there sooner rather than later, but it will come when it comes, almost as if there is nothing that can be forced.

My role is not to demand better performance on some time table that I impose upon him, but to give him opportunities--from finding his swing coach to signing him up for tournaments to keeping my golf club membership so he has a place to play.

More than anything, I have to be sure not to not act like a moron and steal the fun away from it all.