What a difference a day or two makes. v2.0

Good grief! Just when you think it is time to pull up the tent stakes....

Sean competed in the USGA Jr Am qualifier yesterday. He shot a 75 in the first round, earning a shot at competing in the full 36 hole qualifier. Which was something of a major goal in and of itself. Baby steps.

He then ended the day with a tidy 72.

His 147 total was unfortunately 6 strokes back of the playoff for the 5 qualifying spots.

But it was still a solid performance. He finished T17 in a 83 player field. Many of the competitors in this qualifier were the same boys who played in the state junior amateur, where he did not play so well.

This result is an affirmation that he can play with these kids, providing a good boost to his confidence. It helps prove to his mom and I that he belongs out here. I guess this puts us on top of the roller coaster again.

On a side note, I can't help but remark on how grueling a test these USGA events are. Sean was out of bed at 5:15 am, and at the course by 6:45 for a 7:30 tee time. The day was hot and humid and long, with two loops carrying a heavy load. He didn't complete his 2nd round until nearly 8 pm.

His first words when he got in the car were, "I can't believe how tired my brain is."

I came away completely impressed by the mental and physical challenge of a USGA event. High school golfers like Sean can take a lot of grief from their classmates about how golf is not a real sport. I invite them all to come out and grind out their best effort over a 12 to 13 hr middle of the summer day.

A come to Jesus moment

The state junior amateur tournament did NOT go well.

Sean began the event with a one-over par front side. Then proceeded to throw up on the backside with a 9 over par. Finishing the first round with a 10-over 80.

In retrospect, it was telling that he played poorly on the backside during his practice round on the course the week before, joined by three of his buddies from the club also competing in the event.

He dismissed the poor practice round as no big deal, "We just started to goof around and try a bunch of shots."

In hindsight, that was poor preparation. And lesson learned for me. In the future, if we are going through the trouble of taking days off to get him a practice round, he darn well is going to take that seriously.

His second round was only marginally better, he shot a 76, missing the 36 hole cut by a stroke.

His mom and I finally told him that playing like that was not acceptable. No histrionics. No yelling. No beating him down. Just a matter of fact, "If you want the privilege of running around to play in these things, you need to post the sort of scores that prove you belong out there."

I just feel like we tread this fine line. We don't want to steal the fun away or pop holes in his confidence.

On the other hand, we now find it necessary to impose expectations, to make it clear to him this is not a free lunch. If he rises to our challenge, he earns his privilege.

The fact is he is good enough to be out there playing with the best juniors in the state. We've simply insisted that it is now time to prove it.

Is it right to deny him dinner after a poor round?

The roller coaster, when high, inevitably falls to a low point.

Sean shot disappointing rounds of 78-75-74 to finish T48 in a field of 72 players this week

Sean started the week with a great finish in a National Qualifer, earning a tournament exemption for next year. The week began with great promise.

You see, there is a strategy involved in all of this. It is more than just going to events and teeing it up. What we want out of playing in these Gilchrist events this summer is to take advantage of his exempt status to earn some AJGA status for next year, so that he can get into some events then. It isn't just about playing on the big tour, although that is important. It is also about being able to map out a schedule, to be able to make plans for his golf events around our work and vacation schedules.

His round of 70 in the qualifier bode well for the rest of the week. The course seemed to please his eye. He was comfortable and thought he could do well. He said he left a lot of strokes out there.

But now after the second of his four scheduled Gilchrist events, Sean comes away with nothing in the bank. A top 50% finish would have earned him a performance star, whereas a top 15 (or whatever) finish would get him a tournament exemption. These essential trinkets are all far easier to earn in Gilchrist events then in the AJGA qualifiers.

We'll now have to go to plan B and add some more qualifier events to his summer schedule in hopes of making some of the lost opportunity up.

Where the roller coaster metaphor collapses as applied to golf is that, to the parent of the budding young golf star and no doubt to Sean as well, there is nothing at all thrilling about these falls from the highs. They are frustrating and, to some extent, aggravating. The reversal is inexplicable.

And spending a full week in a hotel room for this is not what we signed up for.

Or is it?

It just goes to show how we really have no idea where this is going. There is so much uncertainty. Is this as talented as Sean is, or can he really be better at this game?

I feel it is important to resist the temptation to demand more from Sean. Because you just don't really know. Is this as good as it can get for him? Or is there a lot more talent there, and he just hasn't found the key? He seems to work so hard at his game and is so absolutely obsessed with golf. But is he working at his game in the right way? With his obsession is he setting himself up for a big fall? We want this so much for him, but does he really want it for himself more?

Intellectually, he HAS to figure this out on his own. And he will do so on his own time. And yet, as a parent, how do we tell him that our reservoir of patience is not unending? That at some point, he will have to prove he belongs out there to earn the privilege of going to these events. At some point, we may need to guide him to other alternatives.

Given all this uncertainty, I'm now thinking the missing ingredient may be self-discipline. That, in the absence of raw unbridled talent where it comes almost too easy, there has to be a much sharper mental focus than what Sean is currently displaying. In every way he approaches the game, from practice to tournaments.

Sean isn't making mistakes out there because he's quit or is pouting. He has a great demeanor on the course, especially during tournaments. He keeps an even keel. As I've said all along, I'm convinced he wants to be a great golfer far more than I want him to be a great golfer. He has chosen this path for himself and he owns it.

Which together brings this final question to mind: If he misses one more 2 foot putt in a tournament round, would I be bad person to deny him dinner that evening? You know, for the sake of discipline?

What a difference a day or two can make!

If one is the parent of a budding golf star, one needs to prepare for a roller coaster ride.

In the backdrop of going into the season in lackluster form, Sean just shot a 70, good for a T5 finish in a 76 player AJGA National Qualifier!

With it comes the all important AJGA tournament exemption, which he'll bank for next year, for after his current exempt status expires.

I'm learning that this is not like youth baseball. There, when Sean stepped on the field, he was always one of the stronger players. He'd have his good games and his bad games, but on the whole he enjoyed a lot of success playing ball.

This golf has been more of a struggle. It has been more a story of unmet expectations than of dramatic heroics or smart plays.

But he is figuring it out. I have to keep reminding myself that he is still young, and he has a long road to pave. What is more important now is that he creates a solid foundation.

Still, this fantastic tournament result serves as welcome affirmation for all his hard work. It doesn't exactly come out of the blue--it has been expected, after all.

So it is a pat on the back for him. It builds his confidence. My most prominent feeling is one of happiness for Sean. I'm glad for him that he pulled it off this time.

Summer Golf Begins

The students at Sean's school returned after Memorial day to take exams. Most of his buddies at the club-who attend other schools-had been out for a week or more. He is out today. Academically, it looks to be the best of his three terms of the year.

But in golf, things had not been trending well.

Sean has been in a bit of a rut, not hitting the ball well, and hasn't really scoring well either. His rounds were mostly mid-to high 70's. He hadn't shot anything below 75 in a while, whether in a practice or tournament round.

He played in an AJGA event Easter weekend, but shot a disappointing 80-79 and missed the cut to the third round.

His high school won their relatively uncompetitive region but finished a disappointing 3rd in the state championships. Sean traveled with the team to these tournaments as an alternate, but did not compete in the events. He just hadn't shot the low round the coach needed to see from him to separate himself from some of the other kids on the team.

And then the club's junior challenge ladder series began, but Sean lost his first 3 matches.

Taken together, it was a siren call that something needed to change.

We made two consecutive trips down to see Bobby. The first didn't really change much, but the second of which seemed to really help. But he's reworking a swing. The head swims with thoughts.

We'll just have to see where this goes. There are big plans for the summer, with three full AJGA tournaments, two or three AJGA qualifiers, qualifiers for the US Jr Am, the US Am, and the State Am. He's made the field for the State Jr Am.

You'd hope he was playing better leading into June.

We'll just see where this goes.