AJGA success and failure

Sean played superbly in the first round of an AJGA event, shooting a -3 69, right up there with the leaders. His second round one over 73 was not as good, but it kept him close to the leaders in a tie for 5th place, only a few strokes behind.

Well, the final round didn't go as well as we had hoped. Sean kinda shot himself out of the tournament with a final round 79.

He just never got anything going. He played even par through 6, but then pulled his tee shot into a hazard on 7, and began to leak oil. He didn't give himself many looks at birdie, and when he did, he didn't get the putts to drop.

Now he's learning how to deal with the bitter pill of dropping back so far.

He had some serious milestones here. First tournament round below par, first tournament round in the 60's, best 36 hole score of his 'career' (142), best finish in an multi-round AJGA event (T18 out of 60). Best score to par in a multiround tournament (+5). None of this is shabby and all of it testifies to some really significant improvement in his game.

I mean, just a few months ago he couldn't finish in the top half of an AJGA event, whereas this week he spent the better part of 3 days on the top of the leaderboard.

But the bottom line is it is not where he wants to be. It is also not where he thought he was headed, both coming into the event this week and, in particular, after the first two rounds. His sense is that he had something in his grasp and let it slip away. And to finish with a last round score of 7 over is, well, embarrassing before his peers.

He hung around the 18th green as the final group, right behind him, finished their rounds. He saw the winner's over-joyed reaction. He saw Steve Marino come up to the kid with a big smile and about knock him over with a massive congratulatory bro hug. Sean wanted all of that for himself. What kid wouldn't?

I think for him, the blow to a self-image he is trying to build is probably the hardest to take. He'll have to learn how to live with this "stain" and face his golfing buddies knowing that they darn well know these scores, too.

But this is water off a duck's back. He was pretty much over it by the time we got on the flight back to home. He'll build on this, not collapse from the weight.

Me? First, I'm a very lucky parent because the toughest thing I seem to have to face is seeing my son work so hard at playing a game, and yet come away so disappointed. This isn't tragedy or calamity. This isn't life or death. This is not a child with a heartbreaking illness or inborn condition. Not by a mile.

It is only a game.

Another part of me REALLY likes how distasteful he finds this outcome. Because I know he'll build on it. He's one of those kids for whom this serves as motivation to work harder so that the next time he does better. That is just the kind of kid he is. His overall trajectory is decidedly in the right direction. And I couldn't be more happy that he is getting these glimpses at success.

This week has been a stepping stone. We had major flight delays and got back home very late last night. But I expect that he'll be out at the club grinding before noon.

Sleeping close to a lead

Sean had a great start today in an AJGA tournament. He carded a 3-under par 69 to finish tied for 2nd place, only one stroke back.

Two more rounds and a lot of golf remain to be played.

And lessons to be learned.

I think tonight's lesson will be on how to so close to the lead in an event. He's been there once before in a smaller tournament, and it didn't go so well.

One thing that is different this time is that Sean isn't denying he is nervous. He now understands he will be playing nervous tomorrow. So the question is, how do you play nervous? How do you deal with it.

He made three calls as soon as he got into the car. One was to Bobby, with whom he had a lesson just before heading out of town. He wanted Bobby to know that things are working well. Indeed. I think Bobby just gave him a congrats.

The 2nd call was to his mom. Who no doubt is very excited and happy for him.

The third call was to his mentor at the club, Michael. After Sean told him where he was and what he had accomplished, Michael knew exactly what to say. He told Sean to accept the fact that he'll be nervous, and to focus on his targets and on his tempo.

I guess the idea is that if you need to focus on something other than your nerves, you might as well focus on something important and useful! Duh.

Today's round included a couple of milestones. Sean's first tournament round under par, and his first tournament round in the 60's.

We've seen this day coming for a while and so it really doesn't come as much of a surprise. He's been scoring really well leading up to today's round, even when not really playing well.

And after arriving at the course, he found he really liked it. The course sets up to his eye, and he recognized that some good scoring could be had if he just kept the ball in front of him.

Taken together, he's playing with a lot of confidence. He expects to get his pars and to score some birdies. Today, it was three birdies and an eagle.

When you are playing like that, things can be very, very easy.

We're happy for him because he has worked so hard to get to this point and has dealt with his share of disappointments and setbacks.

Validation

Sean called me at work from the home course today with the news he'd broken 70 again. Another 69! Five birdies offset by two bogies.

It had been only 10 days since he first passed that all important milestone. To do it again, and so soon, is impressive validation.

By coincidence, I left the house for work this morning mentioning to his mom something along the lines that I was sure he'd shoot in the 60's a couple of more times before the summer ends.

Still, I was also beginning to wonder if his feat from just a few days ago had already begun to weigh on him. I suspected that in some corner of his mind, he might have wondered if he could do it again? That the first one might have been a fluke.

Of course, he'd deny that. Sean isn't one to confess weaknesses of the mind.

But if he had doubts at all, today he surely put them to rest.

It was bound to happen. I've always felt that all Sean needed was time, and that he'd eventually catch up to the better golfers of his age group.

Hard to know if it is a coincidence, but one of the things we've done differently this summer than in the past is to create an atmosphere of expectations.

In the past, I didn't really want to put any pressure on him to perform better, mostly because I honestly didn't know what to expect. Also, he seemed to put plenty of pressure on himself all alone. And also because what a 13 and 14 year old golfer accomplishes is fundamentally irrelevant in the grander scheme of things.

This year is a little different because I've seen enough with my own eyes to decide that Bobby, his instructor, is right. The sky is the limit with Sean's talent.

And so this year we've laid onto his shoulders the expectation that he start validating that talent. Nothing huge. No histrionics. No Tiger-Dad tactics. I don't have a formal missed meals for missed putts program (though I reserve the right to implement one if I deem it necessary).

Just pointing out to him the obvious, that if he wants to compete in national-level tournaments, he's going to have to earn his way out there with his scoring. That I really don't care how well or how bad he is hitting the ball, just as long as he figures out a way to post a score good. Whether at home or in tournaments. Only the scoring matters.

We let him know that if he wants to think of himself as one of the best junior golfers in a southern, junior golfer crazy state, that alone must rise to the challenge and post scores that are on par with those players.

We acknowledged that he spent plenty of time on his game, but also let him know that we expect him to be more disciplined in his preparation, that he'd be better off spending 10 hrs a day on the couch then 10 hrs a day practicing poorly.

It seems that in raising the bar in this way, we very well may have given him the permission he craved to play better.

We've nudged him, we've let him know we are there for him, we've given him what he needs. And we've given him the space to figure the rest out on his own.

AJGA Qualifier Crack

As we drove the long highway back to home after Sean competed in another AJGA qualifier event, I found myself unable to suppress the thought that there is an addictive quality to these events.

At its simplest, the top 10% of finishers in AJGA qualifier events earn a tournament exemption, whereas the next up to the top 50% of the field earn a "performance star".

These tournament exemptions and performance stars are like cash, to be spent to gain entry into full AJGA events.

They are the currency of the AJGA's Performance Based Entry system. The more tournament exemptions and stars a player holds in his or her account, the better his chances of gaining entry into an event.

Exemptions and stars awarded to the better players in these qualifier events earn them opportunities to play in more AJGA events, where they have chances to earn more tournament exemptions and stars.

So, why are we playing qualifiers? Sean has had near fully exempt AJGA status this year, and has already played 2 of 4 planned full events. But that status is lost for next year.

The game plan was for him to earn tournament exemptions and stars from his efforts therein, which he could bank for next year. But he hasn't earned anything but experience in those first two full events.

So we decided to go ahead and enter him in some qualifier events as something of a back up plan. If there was a strategy involved, it was to enter him in a qualifier for every full event he didn't earn a prize in. But now I feel as if I should put him in as many qualifiers as possible.

He has played in two qualifiers so far, and has come away with bling from each: a tournament exemption from his first, and a performance star for his effort this past weekend. Which should be enough to get him into one AJGA event next year. Which is fine and dandy.

But it not enough. Because he'll lose the tournament exemption he currently owns once he uses it next year.

In the final analysis, you have to look at your child this year and project where he can be next year. And I have Sean projected to be even a better golfer. If you look at his game right now, he is a middle of the pack AJGA player.

But it is obvious he is improving quickly. Next year, he could very well prove to be an excellent AJGA player. And so you want to put him in a position to take advantage of that better skill level.

And so this year is the time to lay the ground work for the next.

It dawned on me on the drive home that the summer comes and goes pretty quickly. There aren't a great many qualifier opportunities to take advantage of before the deadlines pass for entry into the late season full events. To enter a season without much in the way of AJGA status while hoping to play some AJGA events invites a game of tail chasing.

So just this morning, I decided to enter him into another qualifier.

We'll be taking a long trip to Texas for him to play in a full event. I figure that by playing in the qualifier that is scheduled to precede the event, which will cost only one extra night stay, he'll get two bites at the exemption/star apple during one big trip.

It will cost Sean the wear and tear that comes from playing 5 straight tournament rounds, something that he and I talked about before making the decision.

But other than that, strategically, it is the right thing to do. And Sean seems up for it.

Big match victory

Our club has two open tournaments that are designed to test the best golfers at the club. Any member or junior can enter, irrespective of their status. These are the Club Championship, which is a 3 round stroke play event to be played in October, and the Match Play Championship, which just began.

Sean shot an 82 in an 18 hole play in event to qualify for the Match Play Championship (I shot worse and failed to qualify...ugh. The one day he plays bad enough that I could beat him, I end up playing worse).

This gave him a fairly low seed in the 16 player field, and sure enough he was slated to play Rich, an adult member and one of the top 4 best players at the club, year in and out.

Rich and Sean played their match yesterday, and Sean emerged on top with a 2&1 victory.

Apparently, Sean was up by as many as 3 holes, before Rich narrowed it to one after the par 5 hole 14. They both birdied 15 and then Sean dropped a bomb for birdie on 16 to go 2 up. On the 225 yd par 3 17th, Sean missed the green but emerged with a victory after getting up and down for par.

Sean says he shot a 72 on his ball, to Rich's 74.

But a tight match like that against a really solid opponent is big test of fortitude and a great confidence booster for Sean.

Sounds like he is playing well, which is good, because he has an AJGA qualifier tomorrow. You'd like to see them playing well going into these sort of do-or-die events.

Breaking 70!!

Sean set a new milestone today, breaking 70 for the first time today during a round at the club. A round of 3 under par, 69. He had 2 birdies and an eagle on the front side (32) to go with only one bogey on the back side (37).

Next goal: A bogey-free round, then it is off to the races to break 60!!

I had a little fun with this one. I walked through the clubhouse on my way out after my own round (I shot an 80), when Tom in the proshop asked if I had heard Sean had shot a 69. I had not.

I could see Sean was down at the driving range, grinding away. I approached Sean there saying, "Guess what? I shot a 68 today!!"

Since he looked like I had just punched him in the gut, I took it back right away. And congratulated him on his own score.

What a wonderful boost. He is brimming with confidence right now.

What a difference a day or two makes. v2.0

Good grief! Just when you think it is time to pull up the tent stakes....

Sean competed in the USGA Jr Am qualifier yesterday. He shot a 75 in the first round, earning a shot at competing in the full 36 hole qualifier. Which was something of a major goal in and of itself. Baby steps.

He then ended the day with a tidy 72.

His 147 total was unfortunately 6 strokes back of the playoff for the 5 qualifying spots.

But it was still a solid performance. He finished T17 in a 83 player field. Many of the competitors in this qualifier were the same boys who played in the state junior amateur, where he did not play so well.

This result is an affirmation that he can play with these kids, providing a good boost to his confidence. It helps prove to his mom and I that he belongs out here. I guess this puts us on top of the roller coaster again.

On a side note, I can't help but remark on how grueling a test these USGA events are. Sean was out of bed at 5:15 am, and at the course by 6:45 for a 7:30 tee time. The day was hot and humid and long, with two loops carrying a heavy load. He didn't complete his 2nd round until nearly 8 pm.

His first words when he got in the car were, "I can't believe how tired my brain is."

I came away completely impressed by the mental and physical challenge of a USGA event. High school golfers like Sean can take a lot of grief from their classmates about how golf is not a real sport. I invite them all to come out and grind out their best effort over a 12 to 13 hr middle of the summer day.

A come to Jesus moment

The state junior amateur tournament did NOT go well.

Sean began the event with a one-over par front side. Then proceeded to throw up on the backside with a 9 over par. Finishing the first round with a 10-over 80.

In retrospect, it was telling that he played poorly on the backside during his practice round on the course the week before, joined by three of his buddies from the club also competing in the event.

He dismissed the poor practice round as no big deal, "We just started to goof around and try a bunch of shots."

In hindsight, that was poor preparation. And lesson learned for me. In the future, if we are going through the trouble of taking days off to get him a practice round, he darn well is going to take that seriously.

His second round was only marginally better, he shot a 76, missing the 36 hole cut by a stroke.

His mom and I finally told him that playing like that was not acceptable. No histrionics. No yelling. No beating him down. Just a matter of fact, "If you want the privilege of running around to play in these things, you need to post the sort of scores that prove you belong out there."

I just feel like we tread this fine line. We don't want to steal the fun away or pop holes in his confidence.

On the other hand, we now find it necessary to impose expectations, to make it clear to him this is not a free lunch. If he rises to our challenge, he earns his privilege.

The fact is he is good enough to be out there playing with the best juniors in the state. We've simply insisted that it is now time to prove it.

Is it right to deny him dinner after a poor round?

The roller coaster, when high, inevitably falls to a low point.

Sean shot disappointing rounds of 78-75-74 to finish T48 in a field of 72 players this week

Sean started the week with a great finish in a National Qualifer, earning a tournament exemption for next year. The week began with great promise.

You see, there is a strategy involved in all of this. It is more than just going to events and teeing it up. What we want out of playing in these Gilchrist events this summer is to take advantage of his exempt status to earn some AJGA status for next year, so that he can get into some events then. It isn't just about playing on the big tour, although that is important. It is also about being able to map out a schedule, to be able to make plans for his golf events around our work and vacation schedules.

His round of 70 in the qualifier bode well for the rest of the week. The course seemed to please his eye. He was comfortable and thought he could do well. He said he left a lot of strokes out there.

But now after the second of his four scheduled Gilchrist events, Sean comes away with nothing in the bank. A top 50% finish would have earned him a performance star, whereas a top 15 (or whatever) finish would get him a tournament exemption. These essential trinkets are all far easier to earn in Gilchrist events then in the AJGA qualifiers.

We'll now have to go to plan B and add some more qualifier events to his summer schedule in hopes of making some of the lost opportunity up.

Where the roller coaster metaphor collapses as applied to golf is that, to the parent of the budding young golf star and no doubt to Sean as well, there is nothing at all thrilling about these falls from the highs. They are frustrating and, to some extent, aggravating. The reversal is inexplicable.

And spending a full week in a hotel room for this is not what we signed up for.

Or is it?

It just goes to show how we really have no idea where this is going. There is so much uncertainty. Is this as talented as Sean is, or can he really be better at this game?

I feel it is important to resist the temptation to demand more from Sean. Because you just don't really know. Is this as good as it can get for him? Or is there a lot more talent there, and he just hasn't found the key? He seems to work so hard at his game and is so absolutely obsessed with golf. But is he working at his game in the right way? With his obsession is he setting himself up for a big fall? We want this so much for him, but does he really want it for himself more?

Intellectually, he HAS to figure this out on his own. And he will do so on his own time. And yet, as a parent, how do we tell him that our reservoir of patience is not unending? That at some point, he will have to prove he belongs out there to earn the privilege of going to these events. At some point, we may need to guide him to other alternatives.

Given all this uncertainty, I'm now thinking the missing ingredient may be self-discipline. That, in the absence of raw unbridled talent where it comes almost too easy, there has to be a much sharper mental focus than what Sean is currently displaying. In every way he approaches the game, from practice to tournaments.

Sean isn't making mistakes out there because he's quit or is pouting. He has a great demeanor on the course, especially during tournaments. He keeps an even keel. As I've said all along, I'm convinced he wants to be a great golfer far more than I want him to be a great golfer. He has chosen this path for himself and he owns it.

Which together brings this final question to mind: If he misses one more 2 foot putt in a tournament round, would I be bad person to deny him dinner that evening? You know, for the sake of discipline?

What a difference a day or two can make!

If one is the parent of a budding golf star, one needs to prepare for a roller coaster ride.

In the backdrop of going into the season in lackluster form, Sean just shot a 70, good for a T5 finish in a 76 player AJGA National Qualifier!

With it comes the all important AJGA tournament exemption, which he'll bank for next year, for after his current exempt status expires.

I'm learning that this is not like youth baseball. There, when Sean stepped on the field, he was always one of the stronger players. He'd have his good games and his bad games, but on the whole he enjoyed a lot of success playing ball.

This golf has been more of a struggle. It has been more a story of unmet expectations than of dramatic heroics or smart plays.

But he is figuring it out. I have to keep reminding myself that he is still young, and he has a long road to pave. What is more important now is that he creates a solid foundation.

Still, this fantastic tournament result serves as welcome affirmation for all his hard work. It doesn't exactly come out of the blue--it has been expected, after all.

So it is a pat on the back for him. It builds his confidence. My most prominent feeling is one of happiness for Sean. I'm glad for him that he pulled it off this time.

Summer Golf Begins

The students at Sean's school returned after Memorial day to take exams. Most of his buddies at the club-who attend other schools-had been out for a week or more. He is out today. Academically, it looks to be the best of his three terms of the year.

But in golf, things had not been trending well.

Sean has been in a bit of a rut, not hitting the ball well, and hasn't really scoring well either. His rounds were mostly mid-to high 70's. He hadn't shot anything below 75 in a while, whether in a practice or tournament round.

He played in an AJGA event Easter weekend, but shot a disappointing 80-79 and missed the cut to the third round.

His high school won their relatively uncompetitive region but finished a disappointing 3rd in the state championships. Sean traveled with the team to these tournaments as an alternate, but did not compete in the events. He just hadn't shot the low round the coach needed to see from him to separate himself from some of the other kids on the team.

And then the club's junior challenge ladder series began, but Sean lost his first 3 matches.

Taken together, it was a siren call that something needed to change.

We made two consecutive trips down to see Bobby. The first didn't really change much, but the second of which seemed to really help. But he's reworking a swing. The head swims with thoughts.

We'll just have to see where this goes. There are big plans for the summer, with three full AJGA tournaments, two or three AJGA qualifiers, qualifiers for the US Jr Am, the US Am, and the State Am. He's made the field for the State Jr Am.

You'd hope he was playing better leading into June.

We'll just see where this goes.

AJGA Haul!

For a $250 tournament entry fee, the AJGA has got to be one of the best deals on the planet. Here is what Sean and all his fellow competitors have in store for this weekend, as he plays his first AJGA event of the season:

• One practice round
• Two guaranteed tournament rounds
• A third tournament round if your player make the cut (top 48 players + ties)
  
• Great competition against a deep, international field of fellow juniors
  
• Great pace of play for the rounds at only a bit more than 4 hrs
• A warm and friendly AJGA staff, plenty of them, along with great volunteers
• A dozen Titleist ProV1x golf balls ($45 retail value)
• A dozen Taylor-Made Penta golf balls ($45 retail value)
• A Winn brand putter grip
  
• A smart looking Adidas/AJGA logo golf shirt ($60 retail value)
• Three hats, including the all-important "Dustin Johnson" flat bill style Taylor-Made hat. ($20 each)
• A pair of Adidas adiPure nuovo golf shoes ($200 retail value)
• A bag towel ($20 retail value)

The shoes are definitely, absolutely over the top and not something he'll see in most AJGA events. They are also brilliant marketing. He loves them already. And he's been a Foot-Joy kid all his life.

But everything else, except maybe the second dozen balls, is pretty typical.

If AJGA were to ask my opinion, I'd tell them, "You had me at well-run events."

And if they were to ask Sean his opinion of the one tee gift he could not do without, he'd definitely only "need" the bag towel. Junior golfers meeting on the tee for the first time size each other up through their bag towels. It is to the junior golfer what the mane is to the lion.

When to quit other sports for golf

We've run across a couple of instances, reading or hearing college golf coaches mention that they'd prefer to have players who play other sports, in addition to golf.

One evening not long ago, Sean was talking about the workouts his classmates were doing and announced that he was thinking about going to his high school's football team spring drills the next morning.

At 6 am.

He's pretty athletic looking, and at 6'1" and about 175 lbs, has the size and strength package his high school football coaches desperately want.

I asked, "Did you have a conversation today with one of the football coaches?"

"Not really."

"Do you want to play football next year?"

"I dunno."

Then I asked, "Well, do you like to play football."

"Not really."

"Is it because you think playing football will help get you recruited by college golf coaches?"

"Yessir."

The approach we've taken since Sean was a little kid was to let him play the sports that he wanted to play, and never force him to play a sport he didn't want to play. I learned that from my own Dad.

As his passion for golf grew, and with it his dream of playing at an elite level, I could see the time might come when Sean would like have to make a choice between golf and another sport. And that decision came this spring, when Sean made his final decision to try out for golf, and not to play baseball for the first time in maybe 10 years.

It has been a good call. In fact, a spectacularly good decision. His golf game has improved tremendously this spring. In just a few months he's gone from a 4 handicap to scratch. All but a few rounds, whether tournament or practice rounds, have been scored in the 70s.

For the first time, he won't start his summer golf season trying to catch up, or even have to fit tournament golf around a heavy baseball schedule. Focusing on the one sport has helped him really improve his golf game, and if things stay as they are now, he'll be rolling into his summer tournament schedule with a lot of confidence.

I can fully understand why college golf coaches like the idea multi-sport athletes. Playing other sports testifies to greater athleticism, to learning how to deal with a coach and a team environment. It makes a lot of sense for a golf coach. But not always for a player.

But in Sean's case it really wasn't a difficult decision for him, or hard for me to guide him. He knew the time had come, and that it was the right call. Golf is where his passion now lies. He's having as much fun working on his golf game as he did throwing a knuckle curve ball for a strike on a 3-2 count, or banging a hard grounder up the middle for a 2 run single!

And it sure as hell beats football drills.

Happy Masters weekend!

What a weekend it was!

Beginning on Friday, when Sean learned at his golf team meeting that he had made the eight-boy team that would play in the regional and state tournaments. He still has a bit to go, beginning with a couple of tournaments this week. He needs to continue to score so he gets one of the 6 playing spots in each event. But the bottom line is that these six players and two alternates are the eight boys, about half of the kids on the golf team, who will earn varsity letters.

Earning a varsity letter as a freshman at his school seems to be a pretty big deal. In golf, like in most other sports, the freshmen have a lot of bodies to climb over to get the playing time necessary for the award.

Then on Saturday, Sean and I played a round at the club with Dan, a young kid who plays on the Nationwide tour. I was afflicted with a bad case of double bogeyitis, turning in a round of 82, with five doubles and a bogey to offset my lone birdie. But as poorly as I played it was still fun being in a group with a couple of talented golfers.

Sean had a much better day than I. He turned at -1, had a hiccup on #11, and then another bogey on 13 left him at 1 over. He grinded out birdies on #14 and #15 to get back to -1, but finished #18 with a disappointing bogey, at even par 72. Four bogies and four birdies. Dan, the Qschool grad, shot a 71.

It makes your head spin to watch your young son hold his own, shot for shot, with a Nationwide tour player.

I sensed during the round that I was watching Sean make one of those quantum leaps. His game was just really well under control. His ball striking was crisp. There is a new air of confidence in him. At the turn, he spoke openly of breaking 70. It didn't happen for him, but he was really grinding hard to pull it off. It was a casual round and he was playing with a mission in mind.

Still, the three backside bogeys were inexplicable: one from the middle of the fairway, another a 3 putt from 10 feet, and the last failure to hit the green with a wedge. It should have been a round in the 60's.

And for the first time ever, I think he finally recognized those as mistakes that only he has the power to control.

And what I saw, the change, is that he had finally reached the point where he was honestly setting higher expectations for himself; linking them to things that he could control. It was more than just kid play, that good scoring wasn't just something you wish for, or even just expect to happen, but something you will, something you control.

On the car ride over to Augusta, he said, "I really should be breaking par more, even shooting in the 60's. I've just got to stop thinking 75, 76 or 77 is a good score. If I stop making the mistakes that are causing those bogeys, I would have much better scores. I'm going to focus more on making sure my alignment and aim are right, before taking a shot. I did that today and just need to do it better on all my shots."

That admission was like music to my ears. He finally gets it. Bogeys aren't a conspiracy of the gods. His game is something that he and he alone can control, and if he does it well, the sorts of scores he hopes to be shooting will follow.

And then on Sunday, as we walked onto the Augusta National grounds, just as he seemed to become more mature and more realistic about what he is doing with his game, I couldn't help but go, perhaps in the other direction, and give in to a fantasy, to imagine that he'd compete in the Masters some day.

Preparation in a practice round

Sean has an AJGA event scheduled for later this month at a nearby course, where we played a practice round yesterday. We brought a couple of his buddies from the club along.

One thing I noticed out of the gate was how much the three boys enjoy playing with each other. I hadn't really been in the mix like this since they were much younger. There was ton's of good natured ribbing and laughs, they are so familiar with each other. They have become best friends, bound by their passion for golf, though I don't think they know it yet.

In a post-mortem after last season, one of the things Sean's coach Bobby suggested he try to do this season is to prepare for tournaments better. He suggested Sean get a practice round in well before an event, if possible, and to go back home to work on any special shots it might take to get around the course.

After a few holes I noticed Sean was sort of lagging behind, before I realized he was taking measurements and jotting down notes. Using his rangefinder to sight targets from landmarks.

In watching him, my dominant thought was how cool it was not to have to tell him to do any of this. He just did it all on his own, quietly and without any fanfare.

The kid's head is definitely in the game. And while there was a sense of purpose to the round, he was also having a blast just goofing around with his buddies.

I felt very fortunate to be a part of this light-hearted day. If more Dad's knew how much fun a day like this could be with their sons, there would probably be a lot fewer kids going into soccer and baseball and football.

Taking advantage of high school tournament chances

Sean's team has a few more than a dozen players. From the sounds of it, ~8 players are vying for a spot on the squad that will compete for the high school state championship. Six of these players will compete, two will serve as alternates. The whole season is geared to this goal.

It is fair to say ~4 kids have a spot on that squad locked up. Sean doesn't think he is among these four. He is battling for the 5th or 6th spot with another 3 or 4 other kids.

The team seems to have the talent and the depth where they could make a run at winning the state championship, which would be a big feather in the cap of all involved. Three players return from last year's squad, which finished fifth at 315. The champions shot an even 300.

The coach seems to be doing a good job of giving all a chance to play in matches and tournaments, to post scores and see how they stack up. So when he does get a chance to play an event, Sean goes in knowing that he has to take advantage of the chance, to put up a number.

Sean made a big claim for one of those coveted spots yesterday, posting a four over par 76 to pace the varsity squad, including the locked four, in an event on a tight, hilly course with winds gusting in the 30's. The other scores of his teammates were three 79's and two 80's. Sean's finish was a T5 in a 72 player field.

He's doing a good job of taking advantage of his opportunities to compete in these high school tournaments and matches, putting up numbers that the coaches probably will find hard to overlook. We'll see.

Going into this, his first, high school golf season, I'd read and heard a few things about how the short high school golf team season isn't as important as his summer tournament schedule. Sure, the fields in high school tournaments aren't as deep as those on the regional and national junior golf tours.

But there is a new dynamic I hadn't really anticipated, the intrasquad competition. This grinding to establish a position in the pecking order. It offers an interesting, and refreshing, flavor to the soloist grind of the summer. It is more than the fun and pride of being on a team with some buddies. It is about a season-long competition that hums in the background, where every opportunity to play serves a longer term objective.

Grinding out a varsity team letter

A few weeks back, Sean survived tryouts to make his high school golf team. He is really enjoying golf as a team sport. He takes a lot of pride in carrying his high school bag, wearing the logo hats and shirts, and most especially playing golf with a group of boys sharing a common purpose, and having a blast with them all.

As a high school freshman, his goals all along have been to make the varsity golf squad, and to earn the letter that comes with it. To earn that letter, he tells me he has heard, means that he has to play on the 6 man squad that competes in the state high school state golf tournament in early May.

I'm not exactly sure how many boys made the team, but it sounds like a bit more than a dozen. The coach mixes them up to assemble varsity and JV squads to go out to play in various matches and tournaments. There is one senior on the team, four or five juniors, two or three sophomores, and a handful of freshman.

It sounds like everyone older than freshman are rotated onto any given daily varsity squad, to get their chances to put up numbers. A group of freshman don't quite have the games for this just yet, and appear to be JV specialists. Sean and one other freshman, however, have feet in both camps and are getting ample opportunity to play on the varsity.

Slowly but surely, Sean appears to be earning his way on varsity. He probably won't be sent to any more JV matches, because he is clearly well ahead of that group. But he is also clearly on the bubble, in a dynamic that involves not only scores, but also the coaches dilemma of what to do with kids who don't score as well as Sean but who've been on the team a few years.

Presumably, he'll send to the state tournament the six boys who have the best shot at putting up the four scores that will be needed to win the event, which is likely to be 290 or less. Sean and some of the other kids are counting heads, and it seems like Sean might be as high as #5 in terms of scoring, but the presence of an upper classman probably bumps him to #6, or even #7. I don't doubt Sean is getting a good luck from the coach.

Chats about the situation with Sean provide ample opportunity to remind him the only thing that matters is the scoring. It is the only thing he can really control. His 18 hole avg right now is 77, with only one round in the 80's (an 81).

He's been consistent, but so far all he offers the coach is confidence that he'll put up something in the 70's. From the coaches point of view, Sean hasn't really shown the ability to go low, to show he can put up one of those low numbers, around par, a few of which will be necessary to grab that state title.

Because Sean's consistency includes making too many mistakes out there, throwing away strokes on three or four holes every round. And intellectually and emotionally, he's not quite at the point where he really "gets" that part of golf.

He'd rather think about his strengths than about his weaknesses. Talking about what he does great versus what he needs to improve. Talking about bad shots as random injustices of creation, rather than as the outcome of poor execution. This all seems to me nothing more complex than a reflection of his level of maturity in his development. If you would ask them, the vast majority of teens would tell you they can do no wrong. He'll grow out of this eventually, the kid is only 15 years old, after all.

In terms of that goal to make the state squad and earning the coveted letter, in the few remaining matches he'd probably best help his chances by putting up something less than 75, perhaps even something closer to par than that. He's got the ability, and just needs to figure out a way to limit the mistakes. His coach needs to see a low score from him as solid evidence that he can actually go to a tournament and put up one of those scores that can help the team win.

I really like the idea that Sean imposes these broader goals upon himself, like getting a varsity letter. But there is a significant tension there, too, where he needs to better understand the relationship between his game management and that broad goal.

Because that goal only frames what he can really control, which is his scoring. His score at the end of the day is a direct reflection of how well he manages the series of decisions that face him during a round.

He needs to get to that point in his maturation where he understands that executing each and every of the 70 to 80 odd shots, and the myriad moments and issues that pop up in the course of a round, are all important goals in and of themselves.

He'll figure it all out. Talk about a life lesson....

Master's Invitation!!!!!

I was approached by a kind, kind member of our golf club who asked if Sean and I could join him and his group for a Sunday at the Master's. We'll stay with them in Augusta on Saturday night. Such a generous gift!

There very few things in this life that are better than a father and son, together, wandering the hallowed Augusta National Golf Club grounds. And on a Sunday!

Milestone: Breaking par

Sean came in with a one under 71 during a practice round at home. His first round below par. Two birdies and an eagle to offset 3 bogies.

I wish I was there to see the round...you want to be a part of these milestones...but I was at the club chatting with the head pro in his office, waiting to pick him up, when he came in off the course and announced his result. Close enough to the moment not to complain, I suppose.

But it was a weird moment....I was both very proud, while at the same time I had to actively suppress myself from blurting out, "It's about time!"

Breaking par was inevitable. Sean's game has improved too much. In fact, we all were getting a little bit concerned that it had not happened yet. A couple of his buddies at the club had broken through, but not yet Sean. He came close at last season's club championship, shooting a 73 with a double bogey on our par 5 18th hole.

So there was a little bit of a concern that par was becoming something impenetrable.

Not too many milestones left: Winning a tournament beyond the confines of the club, breaking 70, a bogey-free round, breaking 60...lol!

Well-deserved recognition for Sean's golf instructor

His name is Bobby Hix. And he is the 2010 Georgia PGA Teacher of the Year!

When Sean started working with him, we sensed we had lucked into something good. Turns out, we had stumbled onto a legend!

Congrats, Bobby!

Getting let down gently

For the past 10 years the golfing relationship between my son and I has passed through several phases.

In the earliest days, he wasn't old enough to go out on the course, so we would spend time on the range. I wouldn't get to hit as many balls as I'd like, because it was mostly about watching him and making sure he didn't get in the way of other guys practicing. He'd hit a few, maybe a small bag at the most, grow bored with it, and off we'd go to do something else.

Once he reached the long-anticipated age where he was allowed out on the course there was still more baby-sitting then golf, but it was good to be out there with him, and with his older sister, too. As on the range, I learned pretty quickly I wasn't there to work on my game, but just to spend time with them. To make sure the two of them scurried along, not holding up anybody behind us. There was some tolerance for playing in a bunker, or rolling down a hill, or a quick dash to a creek to look for fish and bugs. We might play four out of nine holes completely, taking shortcuts or a break on all the rest.

It wasn't always so idyllic, but it was usually pretty good. I made the conscious decision that we'd have fun on those outings, first and foremost. If they were ever to take up the game, Sean and his sister needed to associate fun with a trip out on the course, rather than something to be endured or suffered. So we had carts, rather walking and carrying bags, and candy bars. We scored imaginatively, and were generous with mulligans. And on days we did walk and carry bags, I invariably slung them all on my back at some point, more beast of burden than father.

While his sister, who is 4 years older, began to take on other interests, Sean slowly morphed into a good golfing companion. Over time, he became the one person I'd most like to get out and play with. I'll never forget the day I realized he was no different than any other fanatical golfer. He'd hit a bad tee shot into the woods on our 3rd hole, and I could hear him muttering to himself while he walked over there to find his ball. At 10 or 11 years old, he was not really different from any other middle-aged golfer berating himself for a poorly executed shot. It was a real hoot to watch.

Which is not to say there weren't some trying moments. What followed next was his bad temper period. As his game grew so did his expectations. A poor shot could spin him off into a tantrum that was so amazingly similar to those displayed by Tiger Woods you'd think the latter served as chief choreographer. These would frequently last for two or three holes, bad scores would pile up, and then he'd finally wrestle himself back to earth and start playing better again. These were hardly pleasant times, and on a couple of occasions forced me to banish him from the course. I never really let up on holding him accountable for his behavior, yet for what seemed like a long while things weren't really getting any better. It wasn't necessarily fun, a period to be endured, and one that thankfully came to an end before he turned 15.

Last season's phase was a competitive one. He had developed an ability to beat me fairly regularly in straight up stroke play, but I didn't necessarily need a superb day and he didn't necessarily need a horrible day for me to come out on top. We were both playing to ~4 handicaps, shooting our fair number of rounds in the 70's or in the 80's. And so our rounds together were fun. We never really did much in the way of bets. It was far more important to come home for dinner with bragging before his mother and my wife, an Oedipal competition of sorts, I guess.

But this season, I'm no longer any real threat to Sean. We've played a lot together over the past month or so, benefiting from uncommonly good weather. The way several of those rounds have been scheduled has been kinda cute. I might get an email, for example, from one of the better players at the club asking if Sean and I could join them for a round. It is Sean they want to play with, at the cost of me tagging along. But I don't mind.

But these rounds prove the tables have been turned, and what I mostly enjoy about them is the chance to admire his game up close. His ball striking, shot-making and how his game management has improved. He just hits it so well, so far and so high with a simple fluid swing. It is just a treat to see. There are no more tantrums. He gives me tips now, instead of the other way. Just solid, steady play. He is playing to something a bit better than a 2 handicap while I'm still stuck on my 4, scoring just enough mid-70's days to stay there.

There is a vast difference in skill between a 2 and a 4 handicapper. I can only beat him now if I have what will prove to be one of my best rounds of the season, and only if he plays pretty mediocre. For example, I shot a very solid 75 last weekend. But he bested me by a stroke. Far more often than not, his mediocre rounds will top my typical day at the course. And he has become a 2 the old fashioned way, by not yet having broken par. When that starts happening, I will have no chance whatsoever of ever beating him again.

That long phase, lasting several years from the very beginning when he first displayed interest, season upon season, of a son emulating his dad hoping that he will someday play better golf than his father, has finally come and achieved full closure.

And I can tell you the precise moment that transition occurred.

Last night he came into my room, asking apologetically if it was alright if he didn't play with me in our round scheduled for Saturday.

It turns out he had just received a text message inviting him to play, instead, in a group with three of our club champions. Our top players. He had a chance for a better Saturday game than he could get with me. I'd be lying if I denied a touch of disappointment at missing chance to be out there and tee it up with him again. But this was not one of those, "Honor your commitments, son" moments. He needs to be out there with those guys, rather than with me.

In one sense, Sean is in the same phase he's been in his entire golfing life, getting out there and playing rounds with guys he needs to learn how to beat. Having finally crested the molehill of beating his father, he is now eager to tackle the larger peaks that have appeared on the horizon.

Sean said, "Maybe we can do it some other time this weekend? How about Friday?"

A guy can hope a better option doesn't arise between now and then.

Milestone: Making the high school golf team

A bit over a year has passed since I began writing this blog, and with it another milestone. In March last year, at 14 Sean was playing what we suspected would be his last season of baseball.

In February this year, at 15, instead of daily treks to the batting cages to work on his hitting and catching to get ready for baseball tryouts, Sean stole hours after school and spent his weekends on the golf course, honing his game.

We had good, unseasonably warm weather for the better part of February and he was playing great, putting up a lot of mid-70's scores.

Still, he was extremely nervous about trying out for the golf team. And it showed.

Tryouts involved playing 3 nine hole rounds after school. His first round didn't go well at all, and he carded a shocking 50, including a score of 10 on one of the par 4's! He just wasn't comfortable with the process. But he shook it off and came in with rounds of 37 and 41 on his next two tryout days.

Recoveries that were good enough to secure that all important spot on the high school golf team.

This past weekend his school sent varsity and JV squads to Jekyll Island to play their first tournament of the season in the Johnny Paulk Invitational. Presumably on the basis of his Jekyll&Hyde tryouts, Sean was seated on his JV team for the event.

His attitude going in was very upbeat. He was mostly (99%) happy to be playing for his school and being with his teammates for a week, but also a tad bit miffed (1%) at not being placed on the varsity squad for the tournament. He took it in stride, which was very good.

But he understood he could have earned a spot with a better performance in his tryouts. We talked about how there is some long-term good that can come from having to shoot his way onto the varsity squad for events for the remainder of the high school season. It will provide several opportunities to work on his mental toughness, to hone his competitive mindset.

In the tournament, the best score posted on the team was a 71, by another freshman. Sean turned in a 77, which was the 2nd best score posted by anyone from his team in the event and good for a T10 in the 150 player field.

The next day, the team played an intrasquad event at the Seaside course on Sea Island, where Sean again posted the 2nd lowest score of the day, a 76, in very windy conditions.

So he is making statements, but with his scores. As long as he (and I) bears in mind that he will earn the spot in events that he deserves with his golf scores, nothing but good can come from the experience.

That's as solid a start to the high school golf career of a budding young golf star as you could hope to ask for!

The TV Viewer Rules Official and the Jr Golfer

Controversy swirls every time a TV viewer calls in from home to report a rules infraction during a PGA Tour event. As an avid golfer, I'm of a mixed mind about this. There seems to be an inherent unfairness about disqualifying a golfer long after signing an incorrect scorecard, one he did not know was incorrect.

On the other hand, an infraction is an infraction. The rules can seem complicated, but they do make pretty clear what is disallowed. More significantly, the rules put the responsibility of knowing whether an infraction has been committed squarely on the player's shoulders.

As a golf fan, the thought of 'tattle-tales' existing out there, glued to the TV and looking to score by involving themselves in the event is disquieting.

But as the parent of a budding young golf star, I welcome this stuff when it happens.

Because each instance provides an opportunity to have a brief chat with Sean about not only the rules, about how to react when he finds himself in the situation where he or a a fellow competitor has made a mistake, and about the big picture ideas of responsibility and integrity.

If Sean's experience is any guide, a junior will find himself in the position of having to call out a fellow competitor on the course or in the scoring tent a handful of times each season. These must be pretty uncomfortable moments for the kids. Especially when a marker insists the player has committed a violation, and the player is unaware or denies it.

These conflicts occur, and the kids need to not only come to a resolution but also learn how to deal with the emotion of the situation.

In this regard, the professional golfers almost invariable prove to be good role models for the juniors. They swallow the poison. They defer to the rules. They sometimes indicate their displeasure about how it came about, but in the end they show they have no choice but to abide by the rules. And by teeing up the next week, they also prove the world didn't come to an end.

And in accepting calls from TV viewers, what the PGA Tour officials are doing is making it clear that the championships will be played according to the rules.

For a junior in the scoring tent after a long round on a hot day who finds himself in a situation where the facts are in dispute, at least he the rules of golf in his corner. Which are some powerful ammunition.

Bringing a Jr tour event on the home course?

Sean and I had discussed for a while how cool it would be to have our golf club host a 2 day Jr event run by our regional Jr tour. Sean has played in several of their events, and they do a really good job of it.

Sean will claim as his the idea of 'hosting' an event at our club. And he's probably right.

I finally got off my duff to do something about the issue. I had lunch today with the tour director, who was in town for an appointment of his own. We chatted about some of the issues involved.

The next step is to put together a package to present to my club's decision makers, to see if there is something we can do. Our membership is loath to give up their course to outsiders, if even for a day. They cherish their sanctuary, and rightly so.

However, I think we can come up with a proposal that will disrupt normal club activities minimally, and provide the club with both direct and indirect benefits.

College day-

Our metro Jr golf circuit held an informative college day, which Sean and I attended together. Over a 3 hr period, a panel of golf coaches, spanning a range from a tippy top Div I program to an NAIA school, gave some insight into their programs and their approaches to recruiting and managing their teams.

It was a real eye opener, for the both of us.

Probably the three most important take home messages:

• Academics are incredibly important. The golfer really has to be a good student. High school academic performance can be both a door opener and a deal breaker. Football academic standards don't appear to apply to golf.
  
• College coaches don't want high maintenance, tantrum-throwing kids who are disrespectful to their parents any more than a parent wants a bratty kid in his house. Duh.
  
• Just shoot the rounds, and compete in the events he can compete in. Have fun shooting good scores and finishing as high as he can. Make that the objective, and college golf will take care of itself.
  

As if to say that the secret to nurturing a budding golf prodigy is to be a good parent. To emphasize first what is important-academics and character. As for his golf, his preparation and dedication will earn him the success he deserves. No more and no less.

Whew! That takes all the pressure off! Should be a snap! LOL!

Seriously, the college day seminar couldn't have come at a better time. Sean is discovering his new high school is far more demanding academically than his middle school. He needs to step up his effort. If he had any doubts as to whether the hard work his school demands is worth it, the golf seminar seems to have persuaded him otherwise.

Setting a schedule

The nicest thing about having exempt status for the AJGA Gilchrist events is that we can pretty well plan out his season well in advance. We'll have him play in 5 AJGA events, compete in our state Jr Am tournament, and try to qualify for a couple more events (US Jr Am and state Am). We'll also try to get him into a couple of qualifiers for AJGA open tournaments, and see if he can bank some performance stars for the next season.

Last year, the focus was to play as much tournament golf as possible. This year, the focus will be to learn how to prepare better for a more limited number of events.

The other big difference this year is that Sean will play high school golf rather than baseball this spring. Tryouts for the team will commence in another 3 weeks or so. Sean has a good shot at making the team, but hard to say whether he'll see a lot of tournament action. Either way, I think he'll have a lot of fun being on a team.